Friday, January 8, 2016

The Time I was into Music

Every time I tried to start writing, I would always go back to whining about my life. But, I guess there are only so many ways I can complain about the same thing. But, I guess if there's anything worse than being a whiny little douche who doesn't do anything about anything is being seen as a whiny little douche who doesn't do anything about anything.

So, here's an attempt to talk about something more fun.

Or at least, it should be more fun, but I always end up wanting to punch somebody in the middle of this kind of discussion.

The discussion of music.

This is something that I usually don't like to talk about because I'm never on the same page with anyone...ever! I think one of the many reasons why I was alienated in high school(aside from being weird and annoying) is that I did have a pretty condescending attitude towards people who didn't really "get" music.

An irony is that a lot of the music I used to like is now music that I just...kind of don't. There was a time when I thought Guns'n'Roses was a good band...oh, dear, Sean, if only I could go back and tell you how wrong you were.

But, it went a little further than that. If you need a general idea of what kind of music I was into, yes, it was mostly classic rock but there was also a point where I was really into Peter Frampton. Yes, the guy with the talk box. Yes, a guy in his teens really started to like Peter Frampton when the 2010s started. Five years later, I would find out that someone my age was also really into Peter Frampton, but I never got to meet the guy. But, I learned it wasn't an isolated incident. I learned that there are people who share my musical tastes, if that means anything anymore.

Well, maybe a lot, actually. I heard about this guy during my time in Korea. But, the guy who told me this was someone who was a really good friend for the month I was in Korea. Maybe we didn't see eye to eye on everything, but we did have very similar music tastes. We both really like David Bowie and we don't like Guns'n'Roses. That's a pretty good match. I have to wonder where someone like that guy was from during my time at ACM.

But, to be fair, I guess there were more people like that at ACM than I realize. I just wasn't very good at networking or being able to make friends and work on projects together that didn't require a grade. But, I'm not sure if I could have played things differently. Maybe it was just a weird time, maybe I was playing things off well.

Oh, I also play guitar and I did have my own dysfunctional band during my time in high school. There aren't a lot of videos that really show off how good we were, I mean, we had some downright terrible performances. But, here's the only existing video where we were actually pretty good.

I think it was after this where everything just went slowly downhill. Maybe we should have broken up after seeing things not go well after this performance. Hell, there wasn't really even official break up. We just slowly deteriorated where members decided to suddenly be to busy for the performances I wanted to do because they were getting sick of me.

Sadly, this was the pique of anything related to music for me. When I went to ACM, things were somehow just a little worse. The first band I was assigned to started not to like me because I was jerk about how people should play their parts. But, I didn't feel like I was in the wrong because I tried to grow familiar with each song we were assigned. I had to learn the bass parts to the song so I knew which chords to play, even if I didn't play bass in the band. It was good to know. Also, I had a basic understanding of music theory that others didn't seem to grasp, which made communicating what parts I wanted people to play to be pretty hard. But, with all of that, yes, I do feel like I have something to say when I can hear someone isn't playing their part correctly.

But, people thought I was being a jerk, so I had to back off a bit. They told me I was getting better, but it felt like the whole thing would set the stage for the rest of my time at ACM.

But, this wasn't an isolated incident only with me.

In the next group, I decided to keep my mouth shut, but it was a little easier to do because the people in the next group were more competent at what they did. Or they were better at preparing for their parts. But what made it hard was that we had three different singers who all wanted to do their own thing with little regard to any of the instrumentalists who maybe wanted to try something of their own as well. In the end, it was always the most popular song at the time that we would always play. It marked the first and only time I would play a god...damn...Maroon 5 song. Yuck...

But, one thing that was interesting was that it was the first time I performed an original song that I helped write with one of the singers. A song that I find to be perfectly okay but everyone else seems to really like for some reason, so there's that I guess.

So yeah...there's the song that "me and the guitarist wrote"


thanks for the credit

But, one of the things that happened that made me decide not to want to be a part of anything anymore was when we practiced one song and a couple of the singers were clearly not practicing so the third singer called them out on that.


Who knew that suggesting performers to actually try their best would be a little too...much. And she wasn't being mean about it either, but that didn't stop the two singers from calling her a "bitch" and a "cunt" and...yeah, I don't really miss that time.

I don't know what it is, but I kind of regret learning how to play the guitar. Like, if there was ever an instance of dreams being completely ruined, I think this was it. I've never really had anything where I was so sure about what I wanted to do with my life only to have it gradually be the thing that I just sort of dread. But it's hard to explain why. Obviously, if it was something I truly wanted, nothing would stop me, right?

I don't really know what happened inside of me. Maybe it was because I never really had the personality or communication skills to really get what I want. I was always playing for other people but I never got to play for myself. And, maybe I'd play acoustically and play a couple of songs I like for myself, but nobody really wants to hear that. They just want to hear the same few mediocre songs that they hear on the radio every day for the rest of their life.

But, on a lighter note, maybe it's not over yet. One of the members from my original band wants to try something new again. And we'd probably try something if it wasn't for the fact that he's in the military and I'm probably going to be spending more time in Korea in the near future. But I also met someone who I felt like I could form a band with if I didn't meet him somewhere where it'd be hard to really see each other again. But, I guess there's still something at least. One time, a few years after writing Fix My Heartache, I was introduced by someone as the guy who wrote that song. This happened when I didn't even know if people still cared about that song. The fact that some locals are performing that song is really weird to me.

So, where is all of this going? Is everything finally done? Is the writing on the wall? I don't know.

Next time, I get to bore you with my tastes in music, so stay tuned if you honestly care, you weird bastard.

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