Are you Human?

So, after last week, I think I can officially say...

Fuck the Oscars...

Anyways, I remember seeing a couple of videos that was a supposed test to see if you are a human.

Now, really, I'm not sure why one would need a test for that because...well, you're either a human or you're not. But I do get that these videos are humorous, relatable observations that all humans share. Hell, George Carlin did the perfect one of these. I mean, he points out things that even I can relate to. But I do realize that a lot of these relatable moments are things that are caused by the human brain or how our body works. The reason why we always seem to think there's that one extra step that isn't there is because our brain is really bad at paying attention.

Take these questions from a blind person who wonders what it's like to be aware of so many things based on having sight. A lot of answers to these questions is that...well, we don't use our eyes the way he might think we do. Our brain is constantly trying to keep track of stuff and it's constantly editing out things that we don't find important. We don't know where everything is in a room, we just know where the things we usually use are. It explains why you place something down and then can't remember where you put that thing by the time you really need it.

But, then there are the questions from Zefrank's test and a lot of these questions are over things that just...never occurred to me because...well...why would it? There are three videos in this series and...I have failed all of them. But, maybe we can go through each question and figure out why I failed.

I'll just do the first video because it's going to get long really quickly. I'll make part II later.

When in high places, do you worry that you just might jump?

Ummmm...no! Maybe I'll worry that I'll fall, but why would I jump? That's just...not smart...

When speaking to someone, do you sometimes wonder what would happen if you just slapped them?

Is this something that people really think? I don't get the point in this...

Have you tried to unlock the front door of your house with your car key remote?

The embarrassing thing is that I discovered this video the first time I've done this...I felt so stupid. But it makes sense why I did that. I wasn't paying attention and I just...well, yeah. 

So, there ya go! 1 point!

Do you sometimes have to find the perfect angle for your alarm clock before you can go to sleep?

I don't use an alarm clock any more...and, during the time I did have one, I'd usually just have the damn thing face down so it wouldn't light up the room. I'm trying to find a way to get rid of every light in my room for bedtime.

Do you seem to lose your boarding pass a hundred thousand times while simply walking from security to your gate.

I usually put something important like that where I can easily find it, though I can understand.

Have you put on a pair of pants and then realized there's a sock inside of them balled up against your leg.

Hm. This is bound to happen when an entire society puts pants and socks in the same set of laundry. Any sort of species that uses socks and pants are going to run into this. It just happens.

We're up to 2 points now, though.

Sometimes, when you're going to the left, do you turn right because it's easier?

Sometimes, this is just something I have to do. I didn't completely understand the question at first, but this is basically me realizing that I'm not going to be able to take a left turn because traffic is so heavy and I have to find another way.

Okay, 3 points now...

When a good friend tells you a story and forgets that they already told it to you, do you secretly question the entire basis of your relationship?

I just see this as people liking to talk...I'll never understand why. I was once in a conversation where the person talking to me brought up the same conversational point 4 or 5 times probably because nobody can stand "uncomfortable silence."

I really wish people would just not say anything if they don't have anything to say at all.

Do you make small involuntary sounds when you remember something embarrassing?

I'm not sure why we do this. Sometimes, I just want to kick my own ass for doing some of the things I did.

Okay, 4 points.

Does it kind of make you want to throw up when a cup is too close to the edge.

I'm not sure why I'd throw up over something like this, but, whatever.

Do you ever realize that you've been chewing to the rhythm of a song.

I see other people do it sometimes.

Have you ever caught yourself looking for an undo button...in real life?

I don't look for one but I can fantasize about one though.

Have you ever purposely lower-cased the first letter of a text in order to appear disappointed?

I'm not sure why this would make me seem disappointed. Maybe I can understand doing this in order to seem more casual, but...well, I don't do that either.

When stopped at a stop light, do you trip out to the idea that the lives of the crossing pedestrians are in the hands of your feet.

Kind of a weird sentence there...feet don't have hands. If I do think about this, I don't really trip out about it. What I do think about is how deadly cars can be and we make sure people go through proper testing before we allow them to handle cars.

Why is it so offensive that we suggest the same thing for guns?

Do you ever check to see whether your water is boiling and then realized you never turned the stove on?

I haven't done this...not yet at least.

Do you secretly get pissed off when somebody re-presses and elevator button that you already pressed.

I'm not sure why I would. People like to push buttons.

Do you feel unnaturally good when a waitress calls you honey or babe?

Jokes on you! Not even waitresses are willing to call me something like that.

Do you sometime daydream what people are going to say at your funeral.

Kind of a weird one. I've pictured a funeral a couple of time, but I seriously have no idea what people would say about me...my imagination cuts off right there.

Have you on multiple occasions researched how you could block someone from texting you on your phone?

Honestly, I've never felt the inclination to do this. And, even if I did, I doubt I research it more than once.

Have you ever been secretly proud that you were the first person to clap at the end of a performance?

Sometimes it takes initiative to get people to clap. Sometimes, clapping doesn't even the the rest of the people to applaud. I'm not sure what to think about this.

Have you ever sneezed and then smelled the tissue?

EEEEeeeewwwwww.....

Have you ever flipped off another driver only to realize they were trying to tell you that your lights were off?

Actually, there was one time when me and a car in front of me were stopped at a traffic light. When the light turned green, the person in front of me wasn't going. I gave him a light honk only to see him flip me off. I then see the firetruck rushing pass me and realized that, yeah, there was a reason to why he stopped.

It was pretty funny though.

Have you ever deleted all traces of someone from your phone and then changed your mind and then were to embarrassed to admit that you never memorize their phone number?

I once deleted a friend from a Steam account...only to friend him back. I've never actually deleted a number, though I might need to clean up space.

Have you ever researched how to send anonymous e-mails because you wanted to send something mean?

I didn't even need to research that...I just did it.

Have you ever lied about something stupid, something there was no reason to lie about, and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you did?

I'm not sure why I'd do that.

Have you ever worried that, one day, you're going to freak the hell out?

So, I'm going to freak out about freaking out?

I mean, I've freaked out before but I don't spend time thinking about it. Usually, I'm too busy freaking out about the thing that's freaking me out.

Whew, that was a lot. So, my final tally is 4 and the passing score is 5.

Just one point away. But, I think that's my point. A lot of these things are just things I don't even think about and I'd feel that I'd be wasting my time just thinking about them.

But, if you think this is bad, the next two tests are ones where I score even worse. But one of them kind of isn't relevant to me and the other is...well, like I said, I might do part II later.

So, how did you do?